There's a multitude of self help books and authors offering support about relationships and building healthy relationships. Recognizable names include Sue Johnson, Harville Hendrix, John Gottman. If there a common theme(s) in all of them, it's about how we need to feel connected with one another.

To deeply connect with our significant other with have to feel safe. We have to be able to open up and discuss heart felt matters. We need our partners to hear and acknowledge our thoughts and emotions. It therefore has to feel safe. Safe means free from judgement, condemnation, criticism, dismissiveness, and ultimately free from feeling shamed by our partners.

To do that we must learn to listen and not react out of fear or feeling hurt. A counsellors role is to guide a couple through contentious issues, show them the skills they need to manage emotions and effectively communicate and show them how they can "unblock" the process of attaining resolution. With every experience of resolution, a relationship grows stronger.