MARRIAGE
AND
RELATIONSHIPS
We have an innate need to feel connected. Connection with others leads to a sense of security, in other words, feeling safe. When we don’t feel safe, when we perceive dishonesty, feeling dismissed, disrespected, discounted, we react. We first react in our bodies (fear, anxiety, anger), our thoughts, and then our actions (accusations, criticism, judgements, put downs). We can feel most fulfilled through our relationships, when feeling connected through acknowledgement, validation, acts of appreciation. By the same token, we can feel the most abandoned, alone and scared when we feel disconnected by/from those closest to us. In times of hurt and confusion, an objective support person can help guide us through the confusion and understand not just our hurt, but also what a significant other is experiencing. A professional counsellor can help us see through the web of thoughts and emotions, to better understand the underlying needs and hurts, Counsellors often have special skills and training that can assist us in dealing with conflict, increasing communication, disciplining children, and understanding our own needs. Seeing a counsellor is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign that we want our relationships to become safe and fulfilling.