The Toxic Relationship

In the beginning its great. Your in the "Honeymoon" period. You're having fun, excited, intimacy is great, both dialled in to each other, having fun etc., etc.,. Here's the thing, its not 100% real. You are both in a type of "High". It's a rush. We don't have both feet on the ground. We go forward anticipating our life together and then eventually we come down off our high and hit what I call the dirty "underwear" phase. Here comes the arguments, the moods and sometimes the bad behaviour. In a Toxic relationship however, they convince you that YOU are the problem. When they act out and become verbally abusive, start showing bad habits. they will try to convince you that you are the real problem. They act out because of you. If you hadn't done or said this, pointed this out, objected to that, all would be well, and so to keep the peace you learn that's its best to take it on as your problem. Besides, if its your problem then maybe you can do something about it. If this goes on over time, you can become sort of brainwashed. Guess what that does to your self esteem? Guess what that does to your perspective? IT'S ALL MESSED UP. You've given up your power. They call the shots and your job is to keep them happy (good luck with that). Get out when you can and when you start to notice all the "red flags" such as they don't like your friends of family; they possibly have addictions issues; struggle with holding onto their job; they have a bad temper and take it out on you; they make demands (and don't you say no or there's hell to pay). Here's how to identify it, go online and look up personal boundaries, look up personal rights, and then talk to a family therapist. Do it sooner rather that later. Good luck.